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Marijuana Cures Ailes You

Medical marijuana has been around for awhile. Depending on where you live you could be prescribed marijuana and then tell the fuzz that it’s medicinal maaaaaan. As long as you had your medicinal marijuana card you could blow smoke right in a cops face and he/she will have to stand there grooving on it. (Editors note: Please don’t do this.) If you live in the true north, strong and free you no longer need to get a prescription to try out some cheeba. You should still get medical advice if you want to use marijuana to deal with pain. The following is a quick guide to give you an idea of how it can help you. It is not medical advice and I am not a doctor. 

Cannabis is a proven pain killer but no two strains are the same. I’m sure there are pain sufferers out there who might be at their wits end when trying to figure out how to deal with chronic pain when the pills are not working. Listed below are some strains that are proven to help with the symptoms of certain ailments. Multiple strains can provide the same amount of pain relief. Please refer to the table below to find out which strains can help with each condition.

Insomnia

Insomnia can sneak up on you at any time. The cause of it can be an endless list of possibilities. Are you worried about someone or something? Was it that coffee you had after dinner? Is it because of your work schedule? At the end of the day it doesn’t matter. Getting a good nights sleep helps your cognitive functions and allows your body to heal. Interrupting a good sleep cycle can snowball into weeks of suffering.

Purple Kush

Purple Kush is a beautiful looking bud that has a THC content of approximately 21%. It’s an indica strain that provides the user with deep relaxation and a “body buzz” that will give the user couch lock. This isn’t a strain you want to use before you work out but it’s might not be a bad idea to use it after to alleviate muscle pain.

It does come with the munchies so you should use it an hour before your last meal of the day. Dig into dinner and get ready to melt in your bed. It all depends on how much you use but the high is expected to last 2 to 3 hours. It’s also one of those cottonmouth strains so be sure to drink a lot of water. Hopefully if you drink enough water it will deter you from eating a whole pan of brownies before sleeping. Let’s not replace insomnia with obesity.

Anxiety

Anxiety can run your life and the results are rarely positive. Perhaps you have anxiety of snakes so you tuck your pants into your boots when hiking. That is smart and a positive result of anxiety. Snakes are godless killing machines.

When anxiety builds your body will react physically and it can be dangerous. There can be acute symptoms such as the inability to focus and more severe symptoms such as anxiety attacks. Anxiety attacks can have the following symptoms:

  • Feeling of suffocation
  • Cold sweats
  • Paleness
  • Dizziness
  • Light headed
  • Chest pains
  • Numbness of the extremities
  • Shortness of breath
  • Irrational breathing

Critical Mass

Critical mass is a hybrid that is 80% indica and 20% sativa. The effects of this strain are described as euphoric but in a trance like state for a couple of hours. While it’s 20% THC will leave the user feeling relaxed and less energetic there is a 5-10% amount of CBD. This can have a calming effect and some users experience a mood upswing.

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Severe Arthritis

While it’s considered an old person disease arthritis can affect anyone at any age. It does get worse with age however. There are two types of arthritis: osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. Osteoarthritis occurs when the soft cartilage tissue between the joints erodes and your bones rub against each other creating friction. This is the most common type of arthritis and can restrict joint movement and be very painful. Rheumatoid arthritis is your immune system attacking the membrane that protects your joints which can eradicate the cartilage between the joints. This is called an auto-immune disease. This can also lead to fibromyalgia (see below).

Why would your own immune system attack your joints? I haven’t a clue but maybe your white cells read some Qanon literature. 

AC/DC

AC/DC has a high CBD percentage compared to THC. Usually the ratio is approximately 2o:1 so anyone using it can expect to feel the benefits without being high as a kite. AC/DC can reduce inflammation and help with joint pain. Sometimes arthritis pain comes in waves so toking a little AC/DC can before doing any physical labour should allow the user to complete their tasks. I wouldn’t do it at work unless your boss is awesome but before personal tasks like yard work. CBD oil is also recommended for arthritis pain. When it comes to arthritis a strain with a high CBD to THC ratio is recommended.

Chemotherapy

Going through chemo can be hell but thankfully there is a strain that can help in the fight against cancer. While going through chemo patients can experience:

  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Chronic Pain
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Fatigue
  • Loss of appetite

Northern Lights

Northern lights has been recognized as a medicinal marijuana strain for its therapeutic properties. It is a (mostly) indica strain that contains a THC percentage of 18% and higher. There is no CBD but it does provide a heavy body buzz which will help with nausea, pain and anxiety. It has been described as a happy high so while it will lock you to your couch it will help with depression and get your stomach sorted out. After an hour or so of enjoying Northern Lights you can expect to get that appetite again. For someone experiencing chemotherapy that can be a godsend. It’s a wonder this stuff used to be illegal.

Grinder

Fibromyalgia

Fibromyalgia is an awful disease that can cause severe pain throughout the body. Currently it’s not known how one can get fibromyalgia but it is a painful condition. Some of the symptoms include:

  • Pain throughout the body
  • Stiffness
  • Confusion or emotional distress
  • Depression
  • Headaches and migraines
  • Insomnia 
  • Memory problems

Tahoe OG

Tahoe OG is a great strain for fibromyalgia. It’s a strain that acts as a muscle relaxer so if fibromyalgia is creating pain and stiffness throughout your body and its affecting your rest this can absolutely help you get to sleep. This is a great alternative to opioids as it can also get your appetite going again. 

Multiple Sclerosis

MS is an auto-immune disease in the central nervous system. It effects how the nerves send signals to and from the brain. People suffering from MS can experience symptoms ranging from depression to diarrhea. It can also cause pain and weakness throughout the body.  

Harlequin

Harlequin is a sativa based strain that has low THC and a high CBD percentage. It’s perfect for relaxing muscles but not providing an intoxicating high. People suffering from Multiple Sclerosis can use this strain help with daily tasks and to provide relief from symptoms if they start to flair up again. 

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Portable rosin press machine with high pressure and dual heating plates.

Epilepsy

Epilepsy is a neurological diseases that affects millions of people. According to the World Health Organization people with epilepsy suffer seizures when there are electrical disturbances in the brain. Sometimes there are triggers such as strobing lights and sometimes seizures happen on a regular basis.

Charlottes Web

A young child named Charlotte Figi was the inspiration of this strain of cannabis. Charlotte was a young child who would suffer over 300 seizures a week and sometimes would go into cardiac arrest. Her family decided to try CBD oil to help with her seizures and it worked. In fact, Charlotte’s story inspired thousands of families to obtain the oil in Colorado where it was legal.  Sadly, in April of 2020 Charlotte passed away. Her story is the inspiration for the strain called, Charlottes Web. The herb is a very high 13% CBD with a THC percentage of approximately 1%. This isn’t a strain to get you high but a very inspiring one in the fight against epilepsy…and for federal legalization.

Alzheimer’s

Alzheimer’s is a brain disease brought on by dementia. Although there is no cure a cannabis treatment can be available to treat some symptoms. Some of those symptoms include:

  • Memory loss
  • Forgetting present time and place
  • Feeling of being lost
  • Unable to complete regular tasks
  • Unable to communicate
  • Personality changes

Godfather OG

Godfather OG is an indica strain that has a very high THC percentage. It’s not unusual to see strains that are over 30%. This is a for a deep cerebral experience but is known to help with depression, anxiety and appetite. This is not for light weights so if you’re sensitive like I am to high THC percentages indulge at your own risk. For Alzheimer’s patients this is a great strain for mood swings and will most likely plant the patient in one spot due to its deep body buzz. 

Chronic Pain

Chronic pain can come in all forms and especially from the above listed ailments. When dealing with pain one must ask themselves, is it physical pain or mental pain? Depression and anxiety can be treated with cannabis but you have to be careful about the THC percentage. Too much for one person and make your anxiety much worse. This is what we call the paranoias.

For physical pain from trauma or disease a high THC percentage can really help ease the pain. 

White Widow

White Widow is one of those high THC strains. While it could take a few sessions to figure out the right dosage the White Widow is known to help with physical pain and depression. It’s not uncommon to feel euphoria with this strain but lightweights who take too much will definitely have anxiety thrown back in their face. That is why if it is used for physical pain it should be taken in moderation so you don’t suffer an anxiety attack on top of dealing with your arm being torn off by a mountain lion. That’s just an example I’m sure White Widow has a lot more uses than treating the recently amputated by wild life.

Ailment

Symptoms

Strain

INSOMNIA

  • Irregular sleep patterns or no sleep at all.
  • Purple Kush
  • Deep Sleep
  • BOG Bubble
  • Tahoe OG

ANXIETY

  • Suffer from panic or anxiety attacks.
  • Overwhelming feeling of stress in social situations.
  • Having difficulty controlling worry


  • Critical Mass
  • Sour Space Candy
  • Purple Headband
  • Tangerine Dream

SEVERE ARTHRITIS

  • Extreme pain in joints
  • Difficulty moving limbs
  • Swelling of joints
  • AC/DC
  • Blaze
  • Kosher Dawg
  • Alpine Blue

CHEMOTHERAPY

  • Fatigue
  • Chronic Pain
  • Vomiting
  • Loss of appetite
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Northern Lights
  • Brand X
  • Loyalty
  • Cancer's Nightmare
  • Tiger Woods

FIBROMYALGIA

  • Pain throughout the body
  • Stiffness
  • Confusion or emotional distress
  • Depression
  • Headaches and migraines
  • Insomnia 
  • Memory problems


  • Tahoe OG
  • Sputnik
  • Ash
  • Silverfalls Kush
  • Omega Dawg

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS

  • Fatigue
  • Vision problems
  • Numbness and tingling
  • Muscle spasms, stiffness and weakness
  • Mobility problems
  • Pain
  • Problems with thinking, learning and planning
  • Depression and anxiety


  • Harlequin
  • Yogi Diesel
  • Desert Star
  • LAPD
  • Miracle Whip

EPILEPSY

  • Staring spells
  • Convulsions
  • Collapsing
  • Loss of bladder or bowel controls
  • Muscle stiffness
  • Biting tongue
  • Charlottes Web
  • G1001
  • Gremlin
  • Athabasca

ALZHEIMER'S

  • Poor Judgement
  • Memory Loss
  • Difficulty With Words
  • Difficulty Solving Problems
  • Misplacing Items
  • Confusion With Time and Places
  • Godfather OG
  • Ash
  • El-Na
  • Sweet and Sour Cindy
  • Toxic Punch


CHRONIC PAIN

  • Physical Pain
  • Aching Pain
  • Fatigue
  • Discomfort
  • Depression
  • Sleeplessness
  • Irritability
  • White Widow
  • Stevie Wonder
  • Luca Brasi x Sour Diesel
  • Dakini Kush
  • Bedica
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