What crazy times we live in. If you are reading this from the future let me explain what kind of craziness forces me to stay inside on a beautiful summer day.
Racial tensions in the United States are once again high as they’ve ever been. A global pandemic has stonewalled the economy and have claimed millions of lives around the globe. Comic books are no longer relevant even though the superhero genre dominates television and film. The Last of Us 2 subverted expectations to such a degree that it’s the top selling video game in Portland, Oregon this week. Jimmy Kimmel is hiding from a twitter mob for portraying Karl Malone in blackface. Not wearing a mask gets you called a coward or a nazi or both. That racist propaganda film Gone With The Wind is finally getting its come-up-ins. Antifa and incels are now considered terrorists. It’s about time! We all know there is nothing scarier than a group of organized communist virgins.
Cancel-culture has run amok and now I want to get in on the action. In the true, north, strong and free where I currently reside cannabis (for recreational use) is the law of the land. I enjoy it but I am tired of being stereotyped as an idiot pothead.
I have compiled a list of unacceptable pieces of pop culture that offend my idea of entertainment. Thankfully responsible corporations are starting to correct their past mistakes by pulling episodes, films and books that can offend anyone. Being offended affects one’s mental health. This is why I can’t walk inside a dispensary without my emotional animal.
Being labelled as a pothead is offensive.
BAN THIS MUSIC
So just because I smoke a little refer I’m an irresponsible adult? Lyrics from this song include not paying child support, not showing up for a court summons or refusing cunnilingus even though it was consented. Not only is this a terrible role model for children but it suggest that marijuana is more important than being responsible. What kind of a woman hating criminal would act this way just because they’re intoxicated from THC? Shame!
BAN THIS SHOW
No one cares that Towlie is a towel. But my children are going to grow up believing that an animated towel is a lazy idiot because it smokes legal cannabis. For those of you who have never seen the South Park episode featuring an animated piece of cloth click here. I’d also like to point out that I am referring to Towlie as it because I believe that it is gender fluid. I reject the barbaric zeitgeist of assuming the gender of an inanimate object. I also refuse to answer any questions in the comments asking if I know what zeitgeist means.
In its debut episode Towlie is shown to be smoking a marijuana rolled up in a paper like a cigarette only to abandon his friends in their time of need. I enjoy being high but I would never act in this manner. I have nothing in common with Towlie but the show wants me to identify with him because we have one thing in common, cannabis.
I am offended by the notion that the towel is portrayed as an idiot lazy jackass and not a strong independent towel that is more than capable of doing anything a man can do. I can only conclude that the South Park creator’s agenda is to portray trans-people who happen to like marijuana as lazy cowards. Shame!
BAN THIS MOVIE
We are in a Hollywood renascence when outdated garbage movies like the original Ghostbusters get rebooted and the results are comedic genius. The 2016 version of the Ghostbusters is a fantastic example of how we can make timeless franchises into a joke. By that, I mean a comedy should be funny and not full of scary images and an interesting plot. I don’t have time to care about developed protagonists who are usually male. The Cheech and Chong films are in desperate need of a reboot with an all star cast. I’m thinking Elizabeth Banks and Brie Larsson.
Here’s my pitch for a Cheech & Chong reboot: Instead of portraying two losers on the wrong side of the law how about two strong independent women who run a fortune 500 company? Leave it to the patriarchy to instill in our brains that just because you smoke refer you can’t be a contributing member of society. These counter culture films and sketches are so offensive to cannabis users that the audience might start to believe that there’s something wrong with being high. Why am I being subjected to these role models? It’s hard for me to identify and relate to the two protagonists because I actually don’t break the law. It makes me feel bad and when I feel bad I feel like someone’s career needs to come to a screeching halt. Shame!
WHAT ELSE CAN WE BAN?
Anything! I don’t need the MAN to tell me what I should be. When they create these shows or these movies they have a responsibility to the audience. Time is precious and I don’t have time for Tommy Chong to make me feel like a hippie idiot when I’m trying to stream That 70’s Show. Ever since the early 20th century our people have been vilified and demeaned to push a right wing agenda. The War on Drugs took many casualties and sacrifices. Our dignity and mental well being should not be one of them! Next time Hollywood tries to force another “stoner” movie down your throat make sure you vote with your wallet! A vote with your wallet doesn’t have to be expensive. Ghostbusters 2016 was a very inexpensive vote for me since it only cost 10 dollars (Canadian) in the bargain bin at Walmart. Remember, free speech is free as long as Twitter and obnoxious blogs like this one call for boycotts and talented people to be fired.